bitterness

parca noi insine cautam intentionat bitterness uneori. stim ca gresim, avem indicii ca nu ne-ar face fericiti si refuzam sa le vedem, ne incapatanam in aceasta directie. pe acest drum provocam situatii neplacute celor carora chiar nu le-am dori, mai impartim suferinta in stanga si-n dreapta, unor oameni care mereu si-au demonstrat devotamentul si afectiunea.
celor care ne sunt alaturi neconditionat, care ne iubesc sincer, parca uitam sa le aratam recunostinta. suntem nedrepti cu cei ce merita cel mai putin. altora, un gram de atentie, l-il returnam inzecit, desi nu ar merita decat jumate din ce ne-au oferit. sa fie oare drept?
atat de mult am gresit incat nici mustrari de constiinta nu mai pot avea. resimt amaraciunea pe cerul gurii mai rau decat dupa un campari on the rocks. am gresit fata de altcineva dar cel mai mult fata de mine insami. m-am incapatanat ca trebuie sa schimb ceva, cand asa cum era poate nu era perfect si totusi era mult prea bine, eu nu am stiut sa apreciez. m-am privat singura de capacitatea de a fi multumita, de a arata recunostinta, incapatanandu-ma ca nu as mai putea. de fapt era vorba de vrut. nu voiam. what for!?
won't be able to brush it all under the carpet and stand high upon my pile of shit, pretending nothing has changed. i almost digged me in sadness myself. blinded, stubborn, simply stupid. there's always those 30% of the story we'll never know. i hate not knowing 'em. i hate to know they're there. fuck the 30%. sometimes the imagined 30% are worse than the real ones. sherly still will keep putting together puzzle pieces. fuck the 30%.
that's how we end up being empty. we destroy the good and are disappointed of the bad.
oh and... yes, fuck the 30%.

not even white chocolate, with 0% of bitter cocoa could drown my bitterness.
no pure sugar, crystalline and shimmering, no honey, sticky and golden.
anger goes and comes, bitterness always remains, silent in a corner, menacing with spreading it's taste all over at any time.